Just so you know.

In case anyone is wondering,
yes I am depressed.
But maybe that's a good thing.
I find locking myself up in my room studying more beneficial
than wasting my time talking on msn.

When obviously I'm too much in "self-hate" mode
to actually have a casual conversation with anyone.

Oh wait I just remembered,
nobody would even bother reading this damn blog anyway.

Just waiting for the moment where I fall...

I'm screwed this sem.

Why didn't I just stop going to college?
I didn't really need that extra semester do I?
I'm hopeless.
Gonna fail all those stupid subjects this semester.

Which reminds me of CTS ( Critical Thinking Skills ) quiz.
Why am I always losing out on tips or stuff like that?
Its like EVERYONE in the entire bloody universe knew what questions
were coming out exactly.

and yours truly doesn't have a single clue.
is it because he has no friends?

Maybe...

Maybe his friends just forgot to tell him...

Maybe...

or maybe its just some bloody fate that says
"No matter how hard Joel studies for something,
other people must do better than him by giving them tips
and avoid giving Joel any."
"MUAHAHAHAHA"

feels like high school all over again.

Whatever,

I'm going back to banging my head against a book.

After all,

one has to work hard so that he can keep up with the unfair world.

For once,
I'd like to be unfair.
I'd like to be evil and snobbish.
Temptation is running high.
I'd so like to be like one of those jocks in college.
Don't have to worry so much.

Here I am...
Trying hard to do well in my studies.
Actually trying to achieve something good in my life.
college is suppose to be fun?
My foot is more fun than that.

Anyone who tells me to appreciate the fun I'll have in college and university.
Piss off and go have fun yourself.
I'm gonna try study again.
See whether this stupid brain can still absorb anymore stuff.